I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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