we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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