Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
