I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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