Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
