I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
