Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
