She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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