I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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