Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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