Jerry, you need to find god
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
