last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just found puke in my bra..
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
