Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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