i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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