i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
