so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
