M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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