Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
