We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
