Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
