Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
