My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
