I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
