I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
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i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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