So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
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she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
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Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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