I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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