I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
