Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
