Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
