dude i'm inner monologue high
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Come on in and take your pants off
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