I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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