At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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