separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
how does that bad decision feel?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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