What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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