For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
