gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So much rum. So many feels.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
