I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
