discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
