I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
