grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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