would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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