He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
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all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
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The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I need water and some morals
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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