i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
