My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize