JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
