You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
