Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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