In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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