I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
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Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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