brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
