i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
