I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
