that's an acceptable place to lick
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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