need another drink. this is the easiest way
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
