I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
