If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
