Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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