before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
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No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
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Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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