Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
