Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
