I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
