lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
