She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
